This blog is VERY different than any of my other post…
After giving birth to my second daughter, I’ve been inspired to write about my family. They are the most important people in this world to me. When I say the words “my family” it feels so powerful. I’m not alone, I have this little tribe of people that love me, that need me, that care about me and all of that is reciprocated back. We are natural protectors, us mamas. We love our babies and become this almost super human version of our original self once we bring them into this world. Who I was before birthing children and who I am now, would never recognize each other, as they are strangers. My life is different, in every possible gratifying way. I seek God at night and during the day. I look to him for my strength, for courage, and for guidance, where before all of this family stuff happened, I only looked to myself. Before marriage, I did not worry about a specific path or journey, I wandered. My husband became my rock and my king. He led me. He leads us. He takes the reins and is our religious leader. He supports me and defends me, but he does not define me. He is my partner in life, not my shadow nor am I his. When I discovered my talents as a child of decorating and craftiness, I set boundaries with myself, and over the years, he has help me break those down. I don’t let others discourage me from setting goals and living a passion driven life, I have all the support I need under one roof. When I brought my first daughter into this world, my life gained what I can only describe to you as meaning. She gave me purpose. “I was made for this” is how I could describe it. I struggled, I cried, I laughed, I loved every single day of being home with her, just her and I. Presley (my first born) came into this world, strong. She made an appearance when she wanted and controlled my heart strings from that very moment the doctor laid her on my chest. She chooses her own way of doing everything. I have been able to feel her courage, her independence, her determination from the beginning. She is delicate in her demeanor and yet she is sassy, but oh so loving. She loves hard. She genuinely cares about people and their well-being, more than I’ve ever observed in someone so small. She is going to be the best big sister, for she will lead! Ella, my second born child, came into this world as gracefully as one can. I call her my baby bird. She is tiny but fierce. Ella came a month early due to some complications I was having in my pregnancy. She was surviving off of very little amniotic fluid and was labeled a “growth restricted infant”. I was induced at 36 weeks with her and was so terrified that we would never meet. Her first cry will forever sing in my soul. Even though she was only every bit of 4 lbs, she was strong! I was told from birth that she was “STRONG”, “incredible”, “fascinating” and a “fighter”. We spent all of first days after leaving the hospital, at the doctor, checking her every day. And she grew! She is my wildflower, my sweet, sweet soul. I always wondered what it would be like with two. It’s kind of like becoming a first time mom all over again. You’re scared that your first baby won’t accept the new baby. You’re afraid you didn’t get enough time to do the things you wanted to when it was only your first born and you. You’re scared your marriage will face new challenges and that you won’t have any time for yourself. You’re scared that you have to set aside another dream to mold someone else’s. Fear is definitely a factor when you bring a baby into the world. BUT then you pray. You remember the friend that suffers from miscarrying her baby or the story you once read about the mom who tragically lost her child. You remember how the world sometimes tries to take things that are actually a blessing straight from God and mold it into fear. I was not afraid. I told myself when I left the hospital, each time, with each daughter, that I would be strong, that I wouldn’t let sleepless nights control my happiness. I know how blessed I was each time I walked out of the hospital holding a healthy baby girl. I know how blessed I am right now to be writing about each of them as they are both snug in their beds. I know I don’t hold a key to their future, nor do I have one for mine, but I won’t let the fear of this world control me. I won’t let negativity keep me from sharing how wonderful I feel about life. God has blessed me with talents and passions that I will not abuse and under-use. I want to be an example for my girls and encourage them to use their talents and not let them go to waste. I love to decorate and restore old dingy, worn out stuff and make it sparkle again. I love to see character and beauty in something that others don’t see. I love to make people feel good about their homes and share my passion with them. And above all else, I love that my family supports me and sees that I am not trying to be a super mom, I am a super mom. We ALL are! I one-hundred-percent support all of the mama’s in this world that try everyday to do right by their children and their families. We are all different, but by sharing our talents and our strengths with one another, we can be bonded in such a beautiful way. Not just moms but all woman! In such a negative, confused world, I’ve decided to stick with what my faith teaches me every Sunday, and that is to love one another, to uplift each other and to not conform to the ways of this world.
Thank you to those that continue to follow my decor journey! You all inspire me to follow my dreams and to use my God given talents.